From Russia With Love: MTC Week 6!

Hey family!

Wow, this has been a challenging week for me. Part of me can't even explain why it has been so hard. Many nights and throughout the day, I just cried and cried. I found myself continually on my knees pleading with the Lord to give me strength to continue forward. Each day, He has given me that extra strength I need. Each day, He has given me that desire to work harder so that I am better prepared to serve the people of Russia. This week, Sister Walker and I joined back into a companionship with Sister Jolley. This change has been SO challenging for me. Sister Jolley is a wonderful and loving Sister, but we are way different. We have different personalities and things that she says that wouldn't offend her often times offended Sister Walker and me. Throughout my 5 weeks here, I have been praying to love her more. I have been striving to serve her more often and show her that I do care. I know that we are in the tripanionship for a reason. Instead of worrying why, I have been working to be more patient with the Lords time. I have been working to more fully trust in the Lord and His Plan. Just like PMG teachings in Chapter 6, I am working to do God's will to the best of my ability and accept His timing.
On top of the change in companionship's I have also felt a lot of challenges with the language. It is coming along, but many times it easy to turn to the negative and think things are just impossible to learn. I have been working hard to remember that the Lord has called me to Russia for a reason. I will learn it, I just must be patient with the Lord and with His timing. Even though the language is such a barrier; it is incredible how far we have come. I was speaking to my teacher one on one about my struggles and how I can improve. I was frustrated with myself because the many things I want to say, I can't say. I told him that I felt like I wasn't growing as fast as I would like. I felt like I wasn't able to have personality when I spoke in Russian. He sweetly said to me, "Sister McCartt, you may not be able to see it, BUT I do. You have grown an incredible amount. We must have patience with ourselves and with the Lord." He said, " I promise you that you will learn the language. I promise you that the Lord has a plan. It may takes months to gain that ability to have your personality while speaking Russian, but it will come. He said, "And it may be that you don't need your personality to fulfill what the Lord needs you to do." He told me that as I teach he can fill so much love. He can fill how much I love my Savior and how much I love the investigator. He said, " I know it is hard, but you CAN do it." Tears filled my eyes and I felt the Spirit testifying to me that what he said is in fact true. I will come to better know the language. It will be challenging, but it will come. I am thankful for my inspired teachers. They are incredible. I know that they were specifically chosen to help each of us in the district. There is no doubt in my mind. Whenever I feel discouraged, I have to remind myself that I CAN do it. If I ever feel inadequate, I must remember that I know better. I know that as I work my hardest and keep pressing forward; He WILL fill in the rest. Wow, it is incredible how humble I have become this week. It is incredible how much I have grown from just last week. As I have felt discouraged and alone, I have turned to the Atonement. I have been trying to focus on that with Him I can do all things. This work is difficult. This work is hard, BUT with Him, I can truly help the building of God's Kingdom on earth. I am humbled to think that I am the Lord's instrument This pushes me forward. This is not my time; it is his time. I am striving to keep the positive perspective. One last cool thing another one of my teachers told me this week was, "Sister McCartt. I promise you that you will make an eternal impact on people your first week in Russia. I promise you that. You will be prepared with as much language as you need to teach them." I know Heavenly Father will help me.

The days are long, but the weeks have surely flown by. I have 3 1/2 weeks left in the MTC. I have a ton to do and a ton to learn before then! Thanks for your love and support! It was SO great to hear from you. I hope to get the Dearelders you sent momma!

Tell the family that I love them A LOT.

love you so much
your daughter,
devy